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feel it and call it by name

in 2017, i've spent more time feeling and calling what i feel by name. i think many of us feel that we must always turn our negative emotions/thoughts/feelings into positive ones. we are uncomfortable being angry. uncomfortable being jealous. uncomfortable being envious. uncomfortable being bitter. not only are we uncomfortable by these emotions, we struggle to name them. it is not cute to admit that you are bitter. it is not cute to admit that you are jealous. so instead, we create other feelings to mask what is really happening. you've done it / do it. i've done it / do it. a scroll through social media and you are constantly told to be positive. to let go of bad thoughts and emotions. is this wrong? no. positivity is good and is needed. but there must be a balance. 

i think what we fail to discuss is what happens when we run away from human emotions. why so many of us struggle to unpack what we feel and struggle to name what we feel and therefore we are carrying shame and embarrassment. we must rid ourselves of this emotional dichotomy. that our emotions can either be good or they can be bad. sometimes, they just are. as humans we have complex emotions. sometimes what we feel is dark and that is okay. do not equate that with bad. 

feel it. the thing that you don’t want to feel. feel it. and be free.
— nayyirah waheed

you must feel it. feel everything. if you are bitter, allow yourself to sit in your bitterness. if you are jealous, allow yourself to sit in your jealousy. if you are angry, allow yourself to sit in your anger. this is how you heal. you heal by feeling it first, naming it second and then working to let it go. we do not heal by ignoring. we do not heal by pushing fake positivity. being able to be comfortable in your ability to feel all that you can as a human is a process. most importantly, we cannot rush healing. healing can take a week, a month and sometimes even years. your healing journey is your healing journey. do not place a deadline on healing.